‘John and Elsa’ ~ A Duet of Flash Fiction Tales for #FridayFictioneers

FF 24 Oct

 [Image ©  The Reclining Gentleman]

Joanna’s story ~ ‘John and Elsa’

They’d been happy on their island. John had fished. Elsa had sat beside him, absorbing their togetherness, drawing it around her like a cloak of contentment.

Now, John fishes from the dock. But Elsa knows he catches nothing. He often forgets to bait his hook. He sits alone, staring ahead, lost in memory.

Elsa’s ethereal form drifts around his hunched figure. “I’m not in the past, John, I’m right here,” she whispers. “Remember me, love, but let me be with you. Don’t imprison yourself in our past.”

A breeze ruffles the waves. John shivers. They’d been happy on their island.

[100 words]

***

And now a surprising counterpoint from Ron! 😉

Ron’s story ~ ‘John and Elsa 2’

His head went down below the grey waters again.

She sat patiently on her island throne as she had done for many seasons, waiting, warming as she watched him.

Head up again, he smiles, chewing, and makes his way back to her. She looks at him in wonder.

Standing on the island shore he stretches up and flaps his huge white wings and exclaims, “Your turn to feed, my turn to sit on the eggs.  How many more will fly this year do you think?”

“At least two of the four eggs should fledge, a good season,” she replied.

[ 99 words]

***

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly challenge to writers to craft a 100-word story using a photo prompt. To read more of the stories written this week, click the little blue froggy below.

If you enjoy writing and would like to take part in Friday Fictioneers, please visit Rochelle’s blog for the “how to” guide. Rochelle does a wonderful job of managing the whole Fictioneers thing, and all are welcome.

If you’d like to read any of our earlier stories, they can be found here and on our old blog.

You’re welcome to connect with us on Twitter: we are @LazuliPortals.

Joanna and Ron | The Lazuli Portals

~~~

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26 responses to “‘John and Elsa’ ~ A Duet of Flash Fiction Tales for #FridayFictioneers

  1. Wow, I can’t even pick a favorite this week Bravo you two!

    Like

  2. Dear Joanna and Ron,

    The poem ended the story with a twist. Nice collaboration.

    Thanks for the affirmations, too. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  3. Nice pairing. The poem was an unexpected and therefore, somewhat amusing, counterpoint. In you story, Joanna, there could be more than one interpretation, but the feeling of them being together, yet apart, was a difficult and sad one.

    janet

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  4. Very nicely done! Is this duo a normal construction that I’ve not been accessing? I must correct that. 🙂

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  5. I liked the end of Ron’s story-poem a lot.. the avian twist come unexpectedly. The melancholy of the lonely man fishing without a bait was great too.

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  6. Poor John. Very touching.

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  7. I do like these two pieces together. The haunting ache of the first is balanced by the vibrancy and hopefulness of the second. Both end strongly with a surprising twist.

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  8. Margaret has just said everything I wanted to. So her comment X 2. They thread together so well. Great to catch up with you here again.

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  9. So so clever. So haunting and emotional with a really great reveal after reading the 2nd story. I really enjoyed the read.

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  10. Thank you for clarifying Joanna! 🙂 I’ve searched high and low looking for some indication that the second piece was a poem, and finally concluded that I wouldn’t know a piece of poetry if I fell over it. Anyway… the stories were beautiful. Each in their own way was quite moving.

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    • Oh no, so much wasted time! Sorry! 😉

      I saw the early comments come in and wondered why people referred to a poem. Then just before I fell asleep, it hit me, and I dug out my tablet and pecked at the screen to put it right. 😮

      I’m sure any poetry you wrote would be just as high a quality as your prose. 😉

      Thanks for your lovely words.

      Like

  11. The “duet” works perfectly together. One of loss, one of looking to the future. Bravo.

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  12. Lovely counterpoint between the loss and hope in these two. Well done both.

    Like

  13. Dear Joanna and Ron,

    Two tales, one prompt, both marvelous. One sad and mysterious, the other fabulous (like a fable). I loved them both and applaud the two of you.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Liked by 1 person

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